Bohemian Rhapsody

DUDE! Wasn’t that the kid from «Jurassic Park»?

WHAT!? Are you high?!

What do you think?! Pass me that bong and please stop browsing through these YouTube videos! I’m sick enough as it is…. WAIT! GO BACK! Wasn’t that QUEEN?!

Yeah. Their concert at Wembley Stadium. Won’t get out of my YouTube bubble. Must have watched it a thousand times by now, never gets old.

Cool!

Yeah, pretty dope!

Shame the the video’s kinda blurry. Someone should make a movie out of that.

Wattayamean?

You know,… just reenact the concert and film the whole thing with the original songs, but in HD.

That’s no movie!

I know, would be cool, though…

Yeah,… always wanted to make a movie.

But who would wanna watch this?

Wattayamean?

Who would pay for a ticket to see something they can get for free online?

Just millions of Queen fans, for example?!

You’re stoned! You don’t even know how to make a movie!

We’ll find a guy to direct. Maybe even two.

Still stupid!

I got it!!!

What?

AIDS!

WHAT?! No! Really? How? Why? I’m so sorry!

NO! I mean I have an Idea! Didn’t Mercury die from AIDS?

I guess. Scared me for a moment there, you asshole!

I mean Mercury was a phenomenal artist dying young. We’ll just pretend the movie was a drama. A biopic!

Ok?! But won’t the audience notice it’s just a pretense?

Of course they will. But by the time we finally get to «Don’t stop me now», they’ll be too mesmerized to even care a bit.

DUDE! That might even work! The only audience we’d have to deal with will be Queen fans and if we put all their greatest hits in the pic, they’ll be happy. No one else will care. And the fans wouldn’t want to say anything negative about the film when all it basically is is the music of their beloved band.

Exactly my point! If we don’t dig too deep, we won’t offend anyone and the music will do all the work for us. We won’t even have to care about realistic CGI, we’ll be able to shoot almost everything on stage or in front of a greenscreen! No one will give a shit about shaky crowd simulation when there’s «Bohemian Rhapsody» playing over it.

Dude! We might be really onto something here. And you know what? I just thought of the perfect meta-joke to put in the movie. I know that really good blogger that will be the only one in the theatre getting the joke… We’ll just have to get Mike Myers and disguise him so nobody will recognize him.

Wattareyatalkingabout? You really are stoned! But talking about actors: Who could play Freddie, anyway?

Don’t worry, I know just the guy. Perfect casting, a superb actor. So good even the critics will have to say: «Not really a movie, but he nailed it!»

You mean that guy from «Borat»?

No, stupid! Have you seen «Grimsby»? Terrible, terrible idea! I’m thinking of someone much better that will surely get along nicely with the director…

Ok. If you say so. But don’t forget the music! It’s all about the music…

Whatever. I’m hungry, let’s order some pizza and watch that Wembley Video again…

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