TENET

2.5 out of 5 stars

…TENET of review this of part first the do algorithm some let and code the up start let’s so, today it feeling not I’m. review very This? too, heart lacks what know You.

late too payoff little too with work like much too way feeling – heart and elegance lacks movie the end the in But. well really does normally Nolan that stuff good that all – clever, ambitious, interesting be might TENET, Sure.

starts part second the once care really even to boring too way it’s but, story the up set to way necessary the be might measure good for idea the repeating and devices-plot some planting, concept the explaining of part first whole The. ticket? (movie a for line in wait to had one when days the Remember). itself movie the see to line in waiting prolonged like feels Which. idea the to adjust audience the let to runtime the of part big really a invest to has movie the abstract so is recursion of concept underlying s’TENET that is problems the of one think I.

cast (the considering, disappointing rather was acting the especially) shtick its on heavily too relying than other quality much without ass own its up far too just It’s. much so not, TENET.

«Darko Donnie» or «Primer» like plot the follow can who anyone flatter they crafted-well but complex so are that ones the and hand one on «Endgame: Avengers» or ones «Terminator» good the, «Future The To Back» like details practical the into get to bother don’t that ones the probably are stories traveling-time best The. pretentious even – good own its for ambitious too, messy gets it, enough down dumbed not if that, is are (films travel-time most guess I which (movies concept high with problem The.

all at me for work didn’t movie the But. time long, long a in experience theatrical first my it’s since especially, love to liked really, really have would I movies those of one It’s: way good a in not but, speechless me let, Movie The-Gimmick: it call to like I as or TENET or as I like to call it: Gimmick-The Movie, let me speechless, but not in a good way: It’s one of those movies I would have really, really liked to love, especially since it’s my first theatrical experience in a long, long time. But the movie didn’t work for me at all.

The problem with high concept movies (which I guess most time-travel films are) is, that if not dumbed down enough, it gets messy, too ambitious for its own good – even pretentious. The best time-traveling stories are probably the ones that don’t bother to get into the practical details like «Back To The Future», the good «Terminator» ones or «Avengers: Endgame» on one hand and the ones that are so complex but well-crafted they flatter anyone who can follow the plot like «Primer» or Donnie Darko.

TENET, not so much. It’s just too far up its own ass without much quality other than relying too heavily on its shtick (especially the acting was rather disappointing, considering the cast).

I think one of the problems is that TENET’s underlying concept of recursion is so abstract the movie has to invest a really big part of the runtime to let the audience adjust to the idea. Which feels like prolonged waiting in line to see the movie itself. (Remember the days when one had to wait in line for a movie ticket?). The whole first part of explaining the concept, planting some plot-devices and repeating the idea for good measure might be the necessary way to set up the story, but it’s way too boring to even really care once the second part starts.

Sure, TENET might be interesting, ambitious, clever – all that good stuff that Nolan normally does really well. But in the end the movie lacks elegance and heart – feeling way too much like work with too little payoff too late.

You know what lacks heart, too? This very review. I’m not feeling it today, so let’s start up the code and let some algorithm do the first part of this review of TENET…


Storytelling🐷🐷
Characters🐷🐷
Acting🐷🐷
Drama, Baby!🐷🐷
Fun🐷🐷🐷
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Terminator: Dark Fate

2.5 out of 5 stars

When Arnold and some nice callbacks to the originals save the movie in this highly forgettable retcon-adventure, «Terminator: Dark Fate» proves that pure gender-swapping alone in an otherwise paint-by-the-numbers action flick doesn’t make a women-empowering film, let alone a satisfying cinematic experience.

Badass Linda Hamilton was cool, though!

And I’d like to see more of Mackenzie Davis in a tank top.

Wow, this almost progressive text turned chauvinistic on me so fast I couldn’t even spell out the obvious «TARminator» pun.

Storytelling🐷
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Drama, Baby!🐷🐷
Fun🐷🐷🐷
Humour🐷🐷🐷
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Ad Astra

3.5 out of 5 stars

«Ad Astra’s» slow pacing and existential themes probably won’t be for everybody. But almost exactly 20 years after «Fight Club», Brad Pitt once again hits me where it really hurts – for completely different reasons:

The focus on life has shifted, as they say. The now middle-aged Rafeman, who – once tempted by Tyler Durden’s nihilism – now understands the suffering of «Ad Astra’s» protagonist’s fear of loss, isolation and regret just all too well.

For what it is – namely an ethereal «Sci-Fi» movie – «Ad Astra» succeeds. Surely not as gut-wrenching, spectacular nor intense as «Project Mayhem» – but as effective and relevant a movie that’s aiming for the stars bound by its own limitations can be: Trying to be the next «Gravity» (with George Clooney) or «Interstellar» (without George Clooney) but ending up feeling more like the slightly disappointing «Solaris» (also with George Clooney).

But, as they also say: «Per aspera ad astra»*


Storytelling🐷🐷🐷🐷
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Drama, Baby!🐷🐷🐷🐷
Fun🐷🐷🐷
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«That is my father up there!»

*) «Through hardships to the stars». Just to get that quote in there, too.

The Devil’s Advocate

5 out of 5 stars

So I guess this will be one of those articles:

I DID plan to review «It Chapter Two» but since it has become so cumbersome to catch a not dubbed movie in all its original glory in Lucerne, this will be – once again, after «Planet Terror» – one of those not-really-a-review-but-just-reminding-everybody-there-was-this-great-picture-apology-for-a-review.

This time around Taylor Hackford’s 1997 «The Devil’s Advocate» will be the proof that the nineties where anything but bland, mediocre or unqualified to make an impact in movie history whatsoever.

I will not be able to write anything specific about this picture, ’cause almost anything would be a spoiler to anybody who has managed to not have heard about this marvelous film. And I guess anybody who HAS seen it will have had their mind made up by now – loving or hating the shit out of it.

I just remember how I reeeeealllly loved it when I first saw it in the theatre because I didn’t know anything about it and loved the surprising experience oh so much (not unlike «From Dusk Till Dawn» just one year earlier).

Aaaand… I just lost interest in writing anything more about «The Devil’s Advocate» just watching Al Pacino in my most favourite movie of his (though many critics claim this movie was the beginning of the end of his career). Goodbye, thanks for reading…

One last thought: I’ve seen this movie time and time again, and even after more than twenty years, it still more than holds up – it’s a most entertaining, thought-provoking movie you really should consider to revisit or give it a chance to view the first time around if you have the chance.

Great – just great!

😈

Note to self: Don’t publish this text! It’s not ready and not any good!

Note to yourself: Too late! Nobody will read it anyway. And the ones who will, they might appreciate the tip!

Note to self: But this article is really bad!

Me: I don’t care! We’ve come this far. I won’t let go all this work go to hell!

I: But I have a reputation to uphold!

Me: No, you don’t! Reputation implies readers, you don’t have those!

I: Fair enough!

Me: You sure?

I: Shouldn’t we at least make some effort to wrap it all up?

Me: Well, we could. But wouldn’t it be much less effort to just let it be as it is and call it intentional, maybe even clever?

I: Yeah, all right, but I won’t proofread it!

Me: No Prolemo! Didn’t matter the last time.

I: Ok. But this is the last time we do this.

Me: sure!

I: Ok. All I want is people to watch «The Devil’s Advocate». Cause it’s really…

Me: Yeah, yeah, I know: One of our favourite movies that we almost forget it existed.

I: Yeah, exactly…

Me: Ok, Press «Publish» then?

I: Ok. But it’s really the last time we do this?

Me: Sure…


Storytelling🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷
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Drama, Baby!🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷
Fun🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷
Humour🐷
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Planet Terror

4 out of 5 stars

How fucking cool is this!? 😁🧟

I just felt like destroying something beautiful tonight,… like my taste. So I came around to be watching something different for once right here and now and treating myself with some good ol’ schlock:

«Planet Terror». (Speaking of schlock, the quality of this text will be rough, to say the least)…

«Pseudo-Schlock» I might add. While I’m not a trash-film aficiando* at all, Robert Rodriquez’ contribution to the 2007 Grindhouse Double-Feature (along with Quentin Tarantino’s «Death Proof») is such a B-E-A-T-I-F-U-L over-the-top hommage to seventies and eighties horror-thrillers that I just cannot resist to help anyone to remember this obscure anecdote in movie-history. It came into existence with all the potential of a true cult-classic – but somehow got lost in the stream of time – at least in my own personal movie-mind-palace.

You were warned, this text won’t be your elaborate think-piece nor your standard might-be-funny-might-be-relevant-but-probably-not-rafenew-world-review, but I can’t believe how cool the vibe of «Planet Terror» is.

More than ten years after it’s release the bliss of watching this (intentional) mess has gotten even more eerie and most important fun with time passed, given its «story», style and overall awful-wonderful goodness. (After just witnessing myself writing «goodness», I definitely won’t proof-read nor edit this article more than the bare minimum, so there you go.)

So, after not making no point whatsoever, let’s wrap up:

  • The reason I’m writing this is the simple fact that I was so surprised how good this movie holds up on DVD on my 4k jumbotron-TV, just because it’s made to look like a worn out – WHOW, QUENTIN JUST ENTERED THE FRAME! WHAT A PLEASANT SURPRISE – I COMPLETELY FORGOT HE USED TO DO THIS MOST AWKWARD CAMEOS😁! …AND… HIS BALLS ARE GONE…
    Where was I?
    Oh. right the movie was made to look like crap quality, so it doesn’t matter I watch it on DVD, probably event gets better that way.
  • Second: The music is really cool: Sounds like an amalgam of Dwayne Eddie on Guitar and John Carpenter’s Snake Plissken Soundtrack.
  • But in the end, this whole article serves the sole purpose to remind anybody who likes to listen that there once was this stupid, wonderful film called «Planet Terror».

    «Planet Terror» – A forgettable movie that deserves to be remembered.

Nope – no proof-reading today, not even after having googled that it’s spelled «proofreading». No, sir, not today…


Storytelling🐷🐷🐷
Characters🐷🐷
Acting🐷🐷
Drama, Baby!🐷
Fun🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷
Humour🐷🐷
Visuals🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷
Music and Sound🐷🐷🐷🐷
Originality🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷
Entertainment value🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷
Production value🐷🐷🐷🐷
Satisfaction🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷

*) My way of writing aficionado, told you this text wouldn’t be perfect.