A Quite Place

4.5 out of 5 stars

Just having learned today what «Giri choko» or «Pflichtschokolade» means, I realized what a lazy bastard I can be, preferring eating chocolate, pizza and McRaclette instead of writing forced movie «reviews» no one will ever read anyway.

Celebrating this new found honesty, I’m hereby introducing a new review-format for all no-time-for-no-bullshit-film-fans out there:

The «Quicky» [measured in metric pigs]:

Here we go, starting with John Krasinski’s brillant «A Quite Place» (Categories may vary):

  • Storytelling: 🐷🐷🐷🐷
  • Characters: 🐷🐷🐷🐷
  • Acting: 🐷🐷🐷🐷
  • Drama, Baby: 🐷🐷🐷
  • Fun: 🐷🐷🐷🐷
  • Humour: 🐷
  • Visuals: 🐷🐷🐷
  • Music and Sound: 🐷🐷🐷
  • Originality: 🐷🐷🐷🐷
  • Entertainment value: 🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷
  • Production value: 🐷🐷🐷🐷
  • Satisfaction: 🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷
«Pflichtschokolade»

BlacKkKlansman

3 out of 5 stars

Well, it’s a movie.
A solid movie.
A solid Spike Lee movie.
Sorry, a solid Spike Lee «joint».
An important joint.
Presenting a mind-blowing premise based on true events.
About some very important issues.
Making some interesting points…
…in the most generic way imaginable (other than being somewhat of a period piece).

But other than that rather mediocre, imho. (#OscarBait)

Birdman

4.5 out of 5 stars

Too lazy (and too drnk right now) to write a proper review (and don’t have the time to get into details, I have to get even more drnkn in a minute), but after my «Roma» “Review” I feel that I have to show that I still have some sense of proper movie-appreriationtiaion for some to like SOME artsy-fartsy movies!

I’m just rewatching «Birdman» and wanted to let you know, that it’s great and you absolutely have to watch it! Like now!!!

I problaly shouldnt wirt e this but it’s really graet, where are those really grat movies now? Frget «Rpoma», watch «Birdman»! BIIIIRDMAAAN!!!

Lets get some more Oscars over here, plse, bevore «Roma« gets, tehm!

Dad?! Dad!?

Roma

2 out of 5 stars


To be honest, I didn’t plan to out myself as a hater (again, after last year’s Academy Awards disaster that was «The Shape Of Water»), but with the Oscars warming up and 10 nominations for this year’s frontrunner, I feel forced to reveal my two cents about «Roma – The Watching of Paint Dry».

Full disclosure: I like color. I like it in paintings, comics, in magazines, on flowers, even on vegetables: I like broccoli or pickles, which are green. Peter Jackson even coloured World War I to make it more fun, for cryin’ out loud!

But I digress…

Netflix’ Oscar vehicle «Roma» is like Alfonso Cuarón’s earlier multiple Oscar-winner «Gravity» but not set in space. And with the difference that I found «Roma – The Emperor’s New Clothes» to be boring and that I didn’t like it. And it doesn’t even come in color. And as I mentioned earlier, I like color.

One could state that «Roma – The CCTV Experience» is like «Children of Men», another masterpiece by Alfonso Cuarón, but not set in the future. What sets it apart from «Children of Men» is that «Roma – Arthouse, Schmarthouse» doesn’t have a story. I like story; it’s high up on my list of priorities: I even live in a 26 story building.

I’d even go so fare to compare «Roma – They Might Be Your Memories, But Why Should I Care?» with Cuarón’s «Harry Potter And The Prisoner Of Azkaban», another great one that is entertaining and fully satisfying; unlike «Roma – Fast Forwarding Through The Second Half». I like to be entertained. And I like what I like.

In conclusion, 
I wished «Roma – I Already Miss The McRaclette» was more like «Y Tu Mamá También»: I’ve never watched it but I heard it’s great.

McRaclette – I’ll see you in another life when we are both fat.

Oscar Nominations 2019

🎥Now you can find all them #Oscar nominations (as baffling and undeserved as roma some of them might be) in our interactive Oscar Overload Oxperience 2019 over at Blick.ch! 🎞️ 🍿🥤

Act now and you’ll get our complimentary Academy Awards Archive Axtravaganza containing all the Oscar nominees and winners ever, all the way back to the year 1929, included in the Oscar Orchive Onslaught mentioned earlier!

https://www.blick.ch/interaktiv/interaktiv/alle-nominationen-der-academy-awards-die-oscars-2019-id15125968.html

Glass

3.5 out of 5 stars

For a moment there I really thought M. Night Shyamalan was finally back for good in all his former glory. But then «Glass» got a little clumsy and lost me somewhere along the way – just to win me back in the end.

As enjoyable and original the movie might be in general, Shyamalan once again tries a little too hard for my taste, lacking the elegance of his earliest work and for that matter, the charm of «Split», the movie that got me back on board for this one in the first place.

(In case you didn’t know, «Split» and «Unbreakable» are absolutely mandatory to see before «Glass» – it’s a whole thing now).

And though I love me some James McAvoy (I got so lucky to experience his wonderful stage performance as «Macbeth»), I’m sad to say, less «Horde» would have been more this time around.

All in all, revisiting Mr. Glass’ Meta-Comic-Super-Hero-World (almost two decades after «Unbreakable») in the weakest but still solid part of the trilogy, is absolutely worth its admission price.

M. Night really seems to be redeeming himself lately. Let’s be nice and give him just a little bit more time, he’ll get there again…

James McAvoy in Macbeth (Trafalgar Studios London, 2013)