Planet Terror

4 out of 5 stars

How fucking cool is this!? 😁🧟

I just felt like destroying something beautiful tonight,… like my taste. So I came around to be watching something different for once right here and now and treating myself with some good ol’ schlock:

«Planet Terror». (Speaking of schlock, the quality of this text will be rough, to say the least)…

«Pseudo-Schlock» I might add. While I’m not a trash-film aficiando* at all, Robert Rodriquez’ contribution to the 2007 Grindhouse Double-Feature (along with Quentin Tarantino’s «Death Proof») is such a B-E-A-T-I-F-U-L over-the-top hommage to seventies and eighties horror-thrillers that I just cannot resist to help anyone to remember this obscure anecdote in movie-history. It came into existence with all the potential of a true cult-classic – but somehow got lost in the stream of time – at least in my own personal movie-mind-palace.

You were warned, this text won’t be your elaborate think-piece nor your standard might-be-funny-might-be-relevant-but-probably-not-rafenew-world-review, but I can’t believe how cool the vibe of «Planet Terror» is.

More than ten years after it’s release the bliss of watching this (intentional) mess has gotten even more eerie and most important fun with time passed, given its «story», style and overall awful-wonderful goodness. (After just witnessing myself writing «goodness», I definitely won’t proof-read nor edit this article more than the bare minimum, so there you go.)

So, after not making no point whatsoever, let’s wrap up:

  • The reason I’m writing this is the simple fact that I was so surprised how good this movie holds up on DVD on my 4k jumbotron-TV, just because it’s made to look like a worn out – WHOW, QUENTIN JUST ENTERED THE FRAME! WHAT A PLEASANT SURPRISE – I COMPLETELY FORGOT HE USED TO DO THIS MOST AWKWARD CAMEOS😁! …AND… HIS BALLS ARE GONE…
    Where was I?
    Oh. right the movie was made to look like crap quality, so it doesn’t matter I watch it on DVD, probably event gets better that way.
  • Second: The music is really cool: Sounds like an amalgam of Dwayne Eddie on Guitar and John Carpenter’s Snake Plissken Soundtrack.
  • But in the end, this whole article serves the sole purpose to remind anybody who likes to listen that there once was this stupid, wonderful film called «Planet Terror».

    «Planet Terror» – A forgettable movie that deserves to be remembered.

Nope – no proof-reading today, not even after having googled that it’s spelled «proofreading». No, sir, not today…

  • Storytelling: 🐷🐷🐷
  • Characters: 🐷🐷
  • Acting: 🐷🐷
  • Drama, Baby: 🐷
  • Fun: 🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷
  • Humour: 🐷🐷
  • Visuals: 🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷
  • Music and Sound: 🐷🐷🐷🐷
  • Originality: 🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷
  • Entertainment value: 🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷
  • Production value: 🐷🐷🐷🐷
  • Satisfaction: 🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷

*) My way of writing aficionado, told you this text wouldn’t be perfect.

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